Training Children to be Parents

So, did you take a course in school to learn to be a parent?
Did you major in Parenting?
Maybe you sat in on a workshop or a seminar on disciplining techniques?

If you did, congratulations! But chances are you learned parenting from the school of hard knocks, by trial and error, and by the seat of your pants. And since most of us parent similarly to the way we were parented, we learned from our own parents.

Which brings me to my main thought for the day.... you are training your kids to be parents!

When I stop and let this sink in, I am overwhelmed, awed, and I tremble in fear and trepidation.

Our kids will talk to their kids the way we talk to them. Our kids will express anger, exhibit stress, manage their time and money, and even crack jokes the way we do. What would change in our discipline if we remembered that our kids might speak to their kids exactly the way we speak to them?

My friend grieved when he confessed calling his son, "You stupid!" He instantly remembered his own father calling him that and the pain that caused him.

And what could be different in our children's life decisions if our own were more self-controlled or righteous?

Another friend was confronted with his own chaos of life management when his daughter seemed to escape their home by running into the arms of a young man whose anger issues concerned him. Another friend has deep concerns about her adult son who can't seem to get off his computer to find a job. She realized her distant relationship with her own parents contributed to the lack of communication with her own son.

The Cat in the Cradle, hauntingly makes my point:

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and there were bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talking 'fore I knew it and as he grew
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad
You know, I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when
We'll get together then, son, you know we'll have a good time then"

When my son turned ten just the other day
Said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on and let's play
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today
I got a lot to do" he said, "That's okay"

And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah

You know, I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when
We'll get together then, son, you know we'll have a good time then"

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and he said with a smile

"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later
Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad, We're gonna have a good time then"

Well, I've long since retired and my son's moved away
Called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time"

"You see, my new job's a hassle and the kid's got the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

eah, and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad, we're gonna have a good time then."

So what can your do now to be the best parent for your children who will in turn pass on good discipline to their own children?

*First recognize you are a sinner raising sinners and you won't be able to raise perfect kids. I know. I tried! Trust God to fill in the gaps! I'm sure that while you are similar to your own parents, you've moade positive changes in your life. Your own kids will too!

* Choose words that you'd like to hear come out of your kids' mouths when they are speaking to their own kids.

* Talk, talk, talk! Talk about mistakes your parents made, and your own mistakes in life. Tell your kids how you are making changes. Encourage them to always seek wisdom.

* Don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry" when you recognize you've handled something wrong. You can break the cycle of generational sin with confession and change. I'm always amazed how quickly and eager children are to forgive.

* Enjoy your kids every day by spending quality time with them. You won't regret it! It will bring joy to your heart to see your own kids love their own kids in the same way! (At least that's what I'm expecting to happen. I'll see firsthand after my first grandchild is born this September!)

And now for a fashion....

This time I'd like to share with you a dress made from fabric I purchased from Sew Over It in London.  Lisa Comfort is one of my favorite sewing bloggers. Her fabric is just beautiful and it didn't take long to arrive in the mail.

I chose New Look, pattern number 6145, dress A.  Many of their patterns are easy and the directions are clear.

Check out my tutorial on my technique for putting in a zipper.

I have another beautiful print from Sew Over It that I plan to make a similar shift from one of Lisa's downloadable patterns. I will have a review so say tuned!
Blessings!