What to Do When Mom and Dad are Both Sick

I just had surgery this last week and then an infection and then a reaction to the antibiotics. Yeah. Miserable. There's no other word for it. But the bright side of my personal trial was my dear lovies who attended me. My hubby and daughters made meals, ran errands, rubbed my feet, made me tea. I am truly blessed. It brought me back to a memory of when all four kids were at home and both Steve and I were out for the count.

Now when kids are little little there is no way both parents can be sick. That's all there is to it. One of you has to tend to the babies. I guess you take turns, or call a parent or a friend. But there was one occasion when my kids were between the ages of 12 and 4 and we knew the older ones would look after the younger ones so both Steve and I could be sick at the same time.

When it became apparent that both of us needed to stay in bed that morning we called our four to the bedroom. I said to them, "Both Daddy and I have been up all night and feel lousy. We are both sick and need to stay in bed. You are on your own to do school your own way today. At the end of the day I will be very interested to see what you come up with."

Oh my goodness. What busy beavers they were! I was shocked to discover what they decided to do that day. The four of them sat down and wrote out a script for a movie and then gathered costumes and filmed themselves. And what a hilarious result!

You see, this is a result of proactive parenting. By doing the work ahead of time, laying the groundwork of obedience and discipline, it never entered their minds they could get into mischief. The older ones rose to the occasion. They knew we trusted their judgment. There are times, like getting sick, that you don't expect or plan for, but you have actually prepared kids all along with your consistent routine. And what blessings follow!

And now.... my big reveal.... this is my entry for the 2016 Refashioner's Challenge:

 The challenge was to make something out of old jeans. I created a jacket out of 5 pairs of old jeans.

 I added a lining on the inside to make it comfortable to wear. Although it is a heavy jacket it will be perfect for those frigid days in my chilly classroom!

As you can see it is a sort of raggedy quilt layout.

 

If you're interested in reading about how I did this click here. Blessings!

Dinnertime Fun and a Refashion Preview

Those of you who have followed me for awhile know that I am an advocate of the Family Dinner. Whatever it takes to be together at dinnertime is worth the sacrifice. The Family Dinner is a time to connect and should be a non-negotiable coveted time of the day's schedule. Working parents should plan ahead to be home at a reasonable hour and meals can be planned ahead to simplify the supper hour into a daily routine.

Dinnertime can be the climax of a family's day. As the kids help put away toys, as older kids finish up homework and help mom (or dad) make dinner, there is anticipation for that special hour. Everyone looks forward to coming together. Here are some ideas to make that time special:

* Take the time to prepare real wholesome food that isn't a pre-prepared fast-food (although there are days when boxed mac-n-cheese is the difference between eating together or not) and involve your kids in the cooking.
* Light a candle, use the china (save paper plates for company), set the table properly (take advantage of the time to teach etiquette!).
* Play a game during dinner (we loved Settlers of Catan and would just put the game board in the middle of the table).
* Bring a current event article to the table or ask everyone to find a fun fact to share to spur conversation.
* Bad Manners Night - this is when all rules are eliminated. The idea is to demonstrate why you need rules! (Warning - this almost always descends to a food fight - yeah, we've done it and it's a blast!)
* Crazy Hat Night - everyone wears a funny hat to dinner.
* Guest Night - the dinner table is a great time to do hospitality. Invite interesting people from your church and community. One of the many people we had over for dinner was a 70 year old woman who had led expeditions to the South Pole. She shared such fascinating stories with us but also expressed amazement that our kids were even interested (we had read many stories of penquins, and the race to the South Pole, etc. and learned a little about Antarctica before we had her over so the kids pumped her with questions.)
* Saying grace before partaking teaches the children gratefulness, patience, and opens the door to further discussion on God.
* Initiate teamwork by insisting the family work together to help with clean up afterwards! 

And now for a peek at what I'm doing for the Refashioner's Challenge...

The Challenge is to make something from old jeans. So I decided to make a jacket. This is the pattern I will use:

And here are the jeans. 

As it turned out, I needed 3 more pairs. So 5 jeans altogether! The 2 above I bought for $5 at the thrift store, but I used 3 old ones laying around the house (2 had been used for painting and one was outgrown).

So here is a sneak peek as to what it will look like. It's still a work in progress. I have until the end of September to submit it for the contest.

In the meantime, I had fun playing around with the waistband of the biggest pair. I cut it off and made a belt for myself!

I glued a daisy lace (cut off from a refashioned gown - see here). And then I sewed a vintage metal button on each daisy.

I just added snaps so it would fit around my waist.

And here it is!

Blessings!

Tips on Making Your Home a Refuge

"Ahhh. It's good to be home!" my husband said when he returned home from work.

"Are we going anywhere today?" my son asked. 
"No. Today is a stay-at-home day," I replied.
"Oh good!" he responded.

Does your family like being home? Or are they anxious to get out of there because it's not restful but chaotic? A restful, peaceful, home is a refuge for your family. They will love being home, and coming home, and simply being together when the environment and the tone of its management is positive.

So how do you get there? I'll be honest... it takes effort. The second law of thermodynamics is that "entropy always increases" or in other words, "everything tends to disorder". It's true, isn't it? Have you ever seen a child's room automatically stay clean? But a place that is desirable to live in looks welcoming, inviting, orderly, fun, and most of all is full of love and acceptance.

A home that is a refuge is a home where parenting is proactive. Establishing rules ahead of time on playtime and clean-up will give the boundaries. Planning special events, family times, creative times help make home a fun place to be. If you find yourself always playing catch-up, always after the kids who never seem to listen to clean up their messes, or resigning to clutter as status quo, then you are going about home management reactively.

Here are some tips to get turned around:

 *Begin with a schedule of a typical day. Wake people up about the same time each day, and then plan to go to bed about the same time each day. Avoid letting the kids "graze" for their meals. Instead establish three set meal times and do what you can to eat together. 

* In that set schedule there should be times for chores. We usually had a few regular chores in the morning before school, such as making your bed, gathering laundry, feeding the pets, etc. In the afternoon, however, we tackled bigger chores such as vacuuming, dusting, wiping bathroom, etc. And of course, after supper chores always included washing dishes, sweeping the floor, wiping the table, etc.

* Always leave a sizeable chunk of the day for playing and pretending. You can encourage play with proactively pre-planning what they might choose to do by setting out dress-up clothes, tea sets, building sets, cars and trucks, etc. You don't need to set out all of their toys at once, but something different each day.

* After play time there should be a pick up time. Pick-up time can be fun if you set a timer and see how fast they can do it. Be sure to have them pick up all of their toys every day before dinner so your home looks and feels peaceful for a nice meal together. I didn't want my husband coming home from work each evening having to navigate his way across the room as though he needed to hack his way through a jungle so we tried to do a pick up before he walked in the door.

* Plan fun times together. Dinner time is a great time to do fun things - how about a game? How about a discussion on a current event? How about asking everyone to bring a new fact to share? 

* Let your evenings be family times. Read books, play a game (hide and seek anyone?), take a walk, do devotions, sing together. This of course implies that your outside evening meetings and appointments are kept to a minimum.

* I've always hated the title of "housekeeper" to describe what I do (it's HOMEMAKER, thank you!) but admittedly there is a certain amount of housekeeping that you have to do. I found it much more manageable when I allocated the biggies for each day - so for example I mopped on Mondays, changed bedsheets on Tuesdays, etc. So when a dirty floor was staring at me in the face I could let it go knowing I was getting to it on Monday. I preferred to not leave it all for one day. However you choose to do it you absolutely have to keep up or it gets away from you - it's that entropy thing.

* And really... once your routine is established and your children are trained to help it doesn't take long. And then your home looks nice. And looking nice is key. I know this because I noticed that after I cleaned one room the kids would be in there. Then I would clean the room they vacated and as soon as that was cleaned they'd be in there again. You see, they loved being in cleaned spaces! And my husband does too. So instead of harboring bitterness about it, I served joyfully because in the end they all loved being home.

And now for a refashion...

Who wears slips? I do! But they're hard to find in the store because most women don't bother wearing them anymore. I think slips are necessary when you're wearing thin fabric dresses but so many of my dresses that I've recently updated are shorter than my slip! Have you ever had someone whisper to you, "Your slip is showing!" I never understood why people think a slip showing is not socially acceptable but a bra strap or boob is fine. Hmmm.

Anyway... I refashioned a lacy slip so it would fit better underneath my dresses:

I can't seem to find my "before" pic but all I did was cut off the last seven inches of the slip which included a nice lace trim. So I chopped off the lace that was on the bottom and resewed it back on the slip. In essence I shortened the slip by 4 inches.

Now I can wear my dresses with a slip that fits!

Blessings!

Calgon and Curtains

"Calgon - take me away!"

I recently texted that to my daughter after a crazy afternoon spent with school kids. She responded, "??" I realized she hadn't seen a Calgon commercial. They go back to the 70s and 80s.

What parent hasn't had a Calgon moment? And yes, a wonderful bubble bath helps to regroup and de-stress.

Proactive parenting requires that you take care of yourself so you have the wherewithal to manage your children. I am so sad when another parent rolls his eyes at the thought of caring for kids: "I can't stand 2 of them, how did you ever manage 4?" or "I'm dreading the summer... what will we do all summer long?"  If you've ever gotten to this point then you are parenting reactively not proactively. Check out my Summer Ideas page here.

Take time out regularly so you are never short with the kids. Go out on dates with your spouse, take regular walks, bubble baths, quiet times for prayer and Bible study, etc. The English have their tea time. The rich have their cocktail hour. The Mexicans have their siestas. We can all learn from them! I began a habit to stop what I was doing about 3pm every afternoon to just sit and drink a cup of tea. It felt so good! Then I was recharged to take on the evening.

Sewing is my creative outlet that uses another part of my brain and truly helps me relax. Here is a creation for you...

This is a simple yet elegant window treatment sewn from hand embroidered linen napkins.

First I opened the napkins and gave them a good pressing. Then I placed them at a diamond shape, and folded over the top corner of each one.

 Next I laid them out side by side, overlapping slightly. Then I simply stitched a wide seam straight across to allow a spring-loaded rod to go through.

The result is a beautiful vintage valence for your window. It allows plenty of sunlight!

Blessings.

Refashioners Challenge 2016

The Refashioners Challenge 2016 is here! This year it is a challenge to make something new out of old jeans. Find out about the contest here. The contest runs through August and September and you are to post your creation on the refashioner's pinterest board or through instagram.
I have already decided what I will do. Stay tuned!

Words

"If you can't say somethin' nice don't say nothin' at all!" says Thumper in the movie, Bambi. What a great message for kids! But wait... hmm... it's a great message for adults too.

The lyrics from a song by Hawk Nelson called, "Words" expertly points out what words do: 
They've made me feel like a prisoner

They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king

They've lifted my heart
To places I'd never been
And they've dragged me down
Back to where I began

Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out

Let my words be life

Let my words be truth

I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You.

Words have likely brought us where we are today. I remember overhearing my grandmother say to my dad, "When Gail sets her mind on something she really can do it! Where there's a will there's a way!" And that sums up the course of my life - I've always been determined to get places and if I didn't know how- I learned. Those words and the encouragement behind them were wind beneath my wings. After I had my first baby I said to my mom, "I love him so much!" and she replied, "That's how I always felt about you!" Wow. How could I ever go wrong in life with such love and confidence in my choices?

So, what are YOU saying to your kids? Are they words of discouragement, anger, disappointment, or fear and anxiety? I hope you are speaking words that build them up. Fill them with truth - that they are loved, wanted, gifted, and fun to be with!

And now ... a fashion for you:

This is a summer shift made from colorful fabric from Sew Over It. I used a downloadable pattern from the shop, which is in London. 

Downloadable patterns are nice in that you can quickly get a pattern without waiting for a paper pattern to be mailed to you. The hard part is that they are printed from your printer onto 8 x 11 sheets of paper that you have to tape together carefully and then cut out the pieces. 

I wanted to compare Lisa Comfort's shift dress pattern (Sew Over It) with a similar shift pattern from New Look that I bought at Joann Fabrics. You can read my complete review here. The short of it is that  I made a couple of mistakes due to my unclear understanding of Lisa's directions. New Look was pretty easy to follow and took me under 4 hours to complete, but Sew Over It took a little longer, however it was very fun and versatile. The next one I make will be a wiz since I'll know what I'm doing!

Blessings!

Training Children to be Parents

So, did you take a course in school to learn to be a parent?
Did you major in Parenting?
Maybe you sat in on a workshop or a seminar on disciplining techniques?

If you did, congratulations! But chances are you learned parenting from the school of hard knocks, by trial and error, and by the seat of your pants. And since most of us parent similarly to the way we were parented, we learned from our own parents.

Which brings me to my main thought for the day.... you are training your kids to be parents!

When I stop and let this sink in, I am overwhelmed, awed, and I tremble in fear and trepidation.

Our kids will talk to their kids the way we talk to them. Our kids will express anger, exhibit stress, manage their time and money, and even crack jokes the way we do. What would change in our discipline if we remembered that our kids might speak to their kids exactly the way we speak to them?

My friend grieved when he confessed calling his son, "You stupid!" He instantly remembered his own father calling him that and the pain that caused him.

And what could be different in our children's life decisions if our own were more self-controlled or righteous?

Another friend was confronted with his own chaos of life management when his daughter seemed to escape their home by running into the arms of a young man whose anger issues concerned him. Another friend has deep concerns about her adult son who can't seem to get off his computer to find a job. She realized her distant relationship with her own parents contributed to the lack of communication with her own son.

The Cat in the Cradle, hauntingly makes my point:

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and there were bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talking 'fore I knew it and as he grew
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad
You know, I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when
We'll get together then, son, you know we'll have a good time then"

When my son turned ten just the other day
Said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on and let's play
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today
I got a lot to do" he said, "That's okay"

And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah

You know, I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when
We'll get together then, son, you know we'll have a good time then"

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and he said with a smile

"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later
Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad, We're gonna have a good time then"

Well, I've long since retired and my son's moved away
Called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time"

"You see, my new job's a hassle and the kid's got the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

eah, and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when
But we'll get together then, dad, we're gonna have a good time then."

So what can your do now to be the best parent for your children who will in turn pass on good discipline to their own children?

*First recognize you are a sinner raising sinners and you won't be able to raise perfect kids. I know. I tried! Trust God to fill in the gaps! I'm sure that while you are similar to your own parents, you've moade positive changes in your life. Your own kids will too!

* Choose words that you'd like to hear come out of your kids' mouths when they are speaking to their own kids.

* Talk, talk, talk! Talk about mistakes your parents made, and your own mistakes in life. Tell your kids how you are making changes. Encourage them to always seek wisdom.

* Don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry" when you recognize you've handled something wrong. You can break the cycle of generational sin with confession and change. I'm always amazed how quickly and eager children are to forgive.

* Enjoy your kids every day by spending quality time with them. You won't regret it! It will bring joy to your heart to see your own kids love their own kids in the same way! (At least that's what I'm expecting to happen. I'll see firsthand after my first grandchild is born this September!)

And now for a fashion....

This time I'd like to share with you a dress made from fabric I purchased from Sew Over It in London.  Lisa Comfort is one of my favorite sewing bloggers. Her fabric is just beautiful and it didn't take long to arrive in the mail.

I chose New Look, pattern number 6145, dress A.  Many of their patterns are easy and the directions are clear.

Check out my tutorial on my technique for putting in a zipper.

I have another beautiful print from Sew Over It that I plan to make a similar shift from one of Lisa's downloadable patterns. I will have a review so say tuned!
Blessings!